Kwai Low Problems

I have to deal with a lot of useless kwailou's in my current company. They are all the same.. all wanna tokok, during conference calls they will talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk. But they don't do any work....

SO what pissed me off is we are doing this major core system replacement. These kwai lou's all never read the func specs one. I lah, the IT fella, who is the one who ends up reading.

Then in the status call yesterday, the kwailou's boss said

"I expect you, JewSerFine and you, Tom to read each and every func specs and when I ask you, I expect you to be able to explain it to me"

The blardy charbor said "yup".

KNNECCB! I laughed until I crapped man! Kanina, these kwailou's always want to look good in front of their bosses!

Beer Girls

I was at a "steam boat" place in Hong Kong today and I noticed that there was a sexy beer girl pouring beer. It made me wonder.. we have the same shit in Malaysia and Singapore too.. why ah? Isn't this a great example of "cross selling" and "marketing"? I'm like.. if you are in a small town, actually the beer girls are quite ugly ah mahs.. but yet.. it still works! Why ah?

More Pix from HK

More pictures with my Lumix. I spent my 2nd non working day in Hong Kong and I took the opportunity to go up to the Peak and to Lantau Island where the largest outdoor Buddha was.


Taking the tram up to the Peak.


Great scenery from the top of the Peak.


Thereafter, I went to Lantau Island to view the largest outdoor Buddha in all its majesty.


I also took a shot of the Buddha in the horizon on the ride there on the cable car.

Test Driving the Panasonic Lumix DMC-TZ1

I just got my hands on the Panasonic Lumix DMC-TZ1. Ordered it off amazon.com for USD212. Great bargain. 10X Optical Zoom. 5 mega pixel.

Here are some shots from Hong Kong:



The above is a shot outside the famous Wong Tai Sin temple.


Look at the amount of folks praying and the amount of josstick!



Here is a vibrant picture in a lane selling prayer materials! All red!



I tested out the 10X zoom at Hong Kong's trams!


The Lumix also had a pre-set "Food" mode! Here's a short at a restaurant (Yuen Kee) with its signature prawn with crab roe.





Finally, let's try out the Lumix's night shot mode.

Sweet

My son and the girl he sits next to.

School Report!

My son, the Standard 2 kid... I do have some interesting stories about him nowadays.

He used to get so much homework during his standard 1 that nowadays, when he comes back without homework, I get panicky!

"eh, u pay attention in class or not?" is my normal question. Just feels a bit odd with the reduced amount of homework nowadays... maybe its because it is just week 3 of school. We shall see.

My son's class teacher has an interesting concept, rotating the children around every week to sit with different children. So one week this kid, another week another kid. So far, my son has always been paired to sit with a girl.

It's so cute to see how much he has grown up. Last year, he would go "urrk" and "yeak" when paired with a girl. Nowadays he has the cheek to come back and tell me that "that Rachel ah, quite pretty". Basket! Concentrate lah!

So today when I picked him up from school, Rachel came up to me and said "Uncle ah, this karipap junior ah... was a very good boy today, he didn't disturb me at all". Wah! I was so happy! Because, if you know my son, he's the No. 1 champion in talking and disturbing people!

Then on the ride back, my son could even tell me that "Yap Wei Lin today told me that I am her boy friend. I told her to get away from me!"

Ha.. it's these simple conversations with your kids that sometimes puts a nice smile on your face.

Damn Funny

It's one of those weeks.. damn busy like f*ck.. some more got so many con calls.. tired man...

One of my friends sent me this website link he stumbled on: http://www.sggirls.com.

Some of the forum topics there are classic! Check this out

http://www.sggirls.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=192673

Now the topic is "How to know girl is..."

One guys says "HI... How to know girl is horny or not... I want to know is my girl friend is a horny girl or not... but i dunno how... Can anyone teach me how ?"

The reply? "see got horns on the head or not lor"

Another reply: "see below got wet anot"


Then there's another topic "Short Skirt Problem: Dare to wear Dare to show"

A guys starts off saying "girls always wear short skirt and always like so scared pple look at and under it.. i mean the point is that if they dare to wear that short.they gotta accept that people will look at it and without being pissed or something.. "

The replies?

"Genius leh you"

"hello fren, wake up la...
girls r like that de...
if they make police report, u will end up in jail, man"

Man! This website cracks me up!

Con Call complaint

I spend a LOT of time on the phone.. you just won't believe it.. conference calls lah, one on one calls lah you name it...

One of the things i really beh tahan is that because the company I work with is such a conference call centric company, there are a lot of folks who now have managed to develop an art of "feeling busy" on con calls.

There are some calls that are damn boring... so u just wanna sign on, announce your name, then continue playing Need for Speed: Carbon or watch Amazing Race Asia.

On some of these calls, there is another trick where you sign on, then you cepat cepat announce "by the way, I have a call in 30 mins so can I give my update first?". BTW, this happens on the weekly staff call.

Then there's the bloody irritating character who, everytime he speaks, must say "hi this is XXXX". I'm like flip! We know la! Why must always announce your name one? You think we dono ah?

Then there's this other character, he starts the meeting, then he keeps quiet, then at the end of the meeting, he summarizes. HAHAHAHA... most of the time, it's the consultants who do this!

EPF

last week I was over at KWSP/ EPF in Jalan Raja Laut. I must say I was quite impressed with the self service kiosks they had.. that allowed u to print your statement, sign up for an internet account etc. In fact, ever since my ex-company started doing some work for EPF, I felt the service has improved and EPF has been more innovative. Kudos!

Scum

During my last trip to the US, my wife decided to send my maid away. Yes, another one bites the dust. You're probably wondering.. can anyone be so unlucky? Yes!

Anyway, my maid of 6 months was probably the cutest and sweetest maid you've probably seen (and I don't mean it in a sexual way, dammit!). Whenever it was time for me to go and pick up my son from school, she'd say "bye bye Sir!". Whenever we came back, she'd be the first to open the doors and greet us.

Little did we know that she's one scheeming bitch!

That bitch, one day when I was away in the US, my wife was wondering where the f*ck she was and found her squating in the backyard. No.. she was not taking a crap. She had this Nokia handphone in her hands (not a dildo, mind you, after all that FHM posting...). Kanina.. my wife blew her top man! Where the f*ck did she get that mobile from? Apparently she asked it from another neighbour's maid! Wah lao eh.. what's the world becoming.

Then we discovered that this maid of mine, damn freaking smart. She already worked out our timetable and schedule, and she knew when was the time we went out to pick up my son from school, that's when she'd SMS her husband and her husband would call on our home phone! And no wonder whenever our car pulls up to the driveway, straight away she greets us! She's on the lookout lah! Nahia!

Anyway, want to write abt her, can write a whole book, man... so immediately my wife sent her back!

Me? Immediately I went "oh shit, it's back to the cleaning, sweeping, mopping, laundry etc etc".

So I ordered a Roomba from Amazon!

Nice little baby!

When I first tried it out, I found that you really needed to clear as many things away from the room (like if you had any small shelves, or movable trolleys etc) to create as wide a space as possible.. then the Roomba would nicely go around and vacuum your room.

Some rooms were trial and error in terms of how to move stuff around so that the roomba can figure out how best to optimally clean the room.

Initially, my wife scooffed at it! "Wah lao, 1 hour to vacuum a room ah? I can sweep the room in 5 minutes!" Of course lah... how to compare? But nowadays, my wife agrees that the Roomba has freed us a little from some of the mundane tasks.

Here are some pictures of the roomba.

Here it is in its full glory!


These are the removable parts that can be cleaned and washed.


Here's the roomba charging! Have to buy a portable transformer since it's a US device.

Year 2

Today, my son, the cartoon fella, began Standard 2!

When I was driving him to school, he was telling me that he was a little nervous, but once he got to school and met his friends, he was his usual bouncy self!

My son's class now has moved from the ground floor to the 3rd floor. Now you know Chinese school lah, the school books all berlambak. In fact, my son has actually developed some pectorals since the Standard 1. Now that he's on the higher floor, there's no way he can use the normal trolley bag (weighs a ton with the wheels). So I actually invested RM269 for an ergonomically correct bag that apparently disperses the weight! I saw that a lot of other parents did the same!

Getting to school was a nightmare today. My son's school now has 14 Standard 1 classes! It's because this year's Std 1 batch are all born in the year of the Dragon, so u can imagine lah! (Year 2000).

Here he is at his new class!

FHM

Today was a bizarre day.

A few days ago, my brother in law came with a stack of magazines. His house mate works for Times Publishing, and hence he gets loads of free mags, like Female, Cosmo, Lime and.... FHM.

Now, that pile of mags sat on my coffee table, and after lunch, my wife, went and picked up one mag to browse. She picked up FHM.

Kanina... immediately after that, she complained about the mag!

"Wah, what kind of magazine is this? All the women scantily dressed (yum)"

"All the women pose like that one (and she arches her body in such a way that enhances the frontal portion of one's chest)"

"And the articles so koyak one.. can you imagine this interview? What would you like to bring along to a desert island. A vibrator! And what else? You know what the girl answered? Batteries! Ayo!"

Now, that converation I felt was damn funny but later, my wife started giving me the weird look (not the "i want sex" look.. the "you're in deep shit" look).

Wah lan.. she whack me and ask "eh.. you know this magazine ah?"

Of course I said yes! FHM mah! Which guy doesn't know?

Wrong answer man! I should have said no!

My wife then said "wah lao, how come you know this kind of magazine ah? Because of the sexy babes ah? If I ask you about religious magazines, you know or not?"

Now firstly, I thought, where does it exist such a "religious magazine"?

Secondly, I was .. WTF? From no where kena whack?

Damn puzzling man.... so in short, I conclude... for married men, please... don't let any FHM or girlie magazine into your household! Doesn't bode well!

Friend's wedding

on Dec 30, I attended and old friend's (let's call him F) wedding... he used to be my good old classmate back in Malacca from Standard 1 till Form 5. He used to be a goody two shoes fella, very "kuai chai" person whom I treated like my "best friend" during my early schooling days. We did everything together! Cycle to town together! Catch guppies in the longkang together! Throw stones at dogs together! Everything lah! (except wear each others' underwear).

After Form 5, we both drifted apart. I went to Australia to study. He went to the US. The funny thing was, I was voted "more likely to go wild" but I ended up toeing the line. My goodie two shoes friend ended up with a snazzy haircut ala 50 cent and he terrorised the dance floors after weekends of clubbing action.

During his wedding dinner, I sat next to another of my old alma matter friends. This other friend was an utter arse hole during school days. He wasn't such an arse hole now... showing us that time does mellow us oldies.

There were a few funny occassions during the course of the dinner.

Firstly, my "ex- arsehole" friend sitting next to me asked "I wonder what F has done with his porno collection..."

This friend also gave me the inside scoop of how F, same age as I am, was desperate to "find charbor" that he started attending Church Camps to, in his own words, "find a wife". Now, I for one, never really thought that all these Church camps were truly "church camps". They all felt like some heavily disguised "Temptation Island" (remember that reality show?... http://www.temptationonfox.com )

Then the MC decided to play a game. This was when he got the bride and groom (F) up the stage and he played this "how well do you know your spouse game". Now this was when he asked a question to the bride, and he posed the same question to the groom and vice versa. Now, first thing on my mind was "bloody dangerous ain't it"? :) What if both the bride and groom all salah and end up quarelling?

Anyway, one of the questions to the bride was "Does F brush his teeth every night". Straight away my "ex-arsehole" friend said "no lah! Sometimes he doesn't even shower!"

Of course, F wanted to "save face" and answered "Yes". The bride was smarter. She answered No... so when the emcee revealed F's answer, both me and my friend (we were strategically seated right at the back row) both shouted "He Lies!"

Anyway, during that dinner, I also bumped into a few other ex class mates. We spent a good deal of time catching up, so I guess this wedding dinner was great. Somehow, the way things pan out, you always drift apart from your good friends from the Standard 1 to Form 5 era. Then when you go to the uni, you make another set of friends, who yet again, you drift apart when you begin work. All my best friends now are work mates, but sometimes it does feel strange how time has pulled apart the best of friends, when turning back the clock, it seemed unthinkable that we would be torn apart.

Anyway, best of luck in your new found status, F! Congratulations on your wedding!

Happy New Year!

I'd like to wish everyone a Happy New Year! May Year 2007 bring much more happiness, wealth and progression to all!

For me, 2006 was a topsy turvy year. It's a year where I finally got into stride understanding how to work in a highly political user environment. I got to know who to suck up to, who I can piss off without much detriment... and at the same time, I also end up questioning what I'm doing here... haha... why? That's another blog man!