Zoids!

My son has a new passion! It's no longer Transformers! When he was down in Singapore, he caught fancy of these huge robotic ancient creatures like dinosaurs and sabre tooth tigers!

http://www.hasbro.com/zoids/

This is what I spent most money on! PS: I had to build these creatures from scratch!

Chuppa Chups!

Remember this lollipop?

I was watching Astro on the kids channel the other day and they had this advertisement with the tag line "It's nice to suck"

Err... a bit pornographic ain't it?

http://www.chupachupsgroup.com/

If u go to their website, they even have a reference to "Benefits of sucking".

Yeah yeah... i know.. it's my brain....

Earthquake

Today there was an earthquake in Taiwan knocking out internet connectivity from Asia to the US. So I was affected. But after 8 hours, we got some intermittent connectivity. That was when I saw this email from this "CIO of Asia".. he sent out an email to Hong Kong (which got knocked out) asking "hey guys, did u lose internet connectivity?"

I'm like DUH!

CIO of Asia!

Like as if they (HK) can receive his email! Even if they receive, fat chance of them responding!

Sometimes I wonder how these people get into such positions...

Arse!

I saw this funny pen holder whilst hanging out in Singapore. Hilarious!

Singapore!

Over the past week, I was down in Singapore again for my annual pilgrimage. It's more for my wife and kid.. they love window shopping down in Singapore.

One thing I noticed is that walking around, somehow the women there "looked nicer". What does that mean? In general, they dress nicer, somehow their tits look fuller or more protruding (my wife even said that!) and they somehow dress showing more cleavage.

Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures to show for it.. (how la.. you think it's easy to whip up one's mobile and snap someone's boobs ah? You try lah!)

I do have some decent pics here...

Firstly, I always liked this X'mas tree in Takashimaya.


In Bugis Junction, there's this jewelrer who tried to up the ante by creating an X'mas tree entirely out of diamonds!


Lastly, the scenes in Orchard Road were packed with people!

Calculation Error

Yesterday, i got a call from yet another head hunter.

"Hallo! Karipap ah?"

"Ya?"

"You still working for this XXX ah? I got this one opportunity vely good one, want to try ah?"

"What's the job?"

"CIO. XXX Bank"

"Wow... ok.. give me details..."

"Well, Karipap, firstly ah.. I want to check ah, how much your current salary..."

"My current salary is in US dollars"

"Really ah.. so how much ah? This job XXX Ringgit"

"Err.. well I earn USD 1,000 (this is a fictitious number meant only for illustration)"

"Like that ah.. ringgit how much ah?"

"Wah lao eh.. multiply the exchange rate la"

"Like that ah.. how much ah?"

"Well, the exchange rate now is 3.7 or something"

"Like that ah.. how much ah?"

DOH!

A couple of NY pix

Didn't have much time to do anything touristy.. but here's a couple of shots I took from my last trip.

This was a nice X'mas tree up in a park in NY.


This picture says it all! What a name!

Katak

I'm back from a long US trip. Must be getting old.. i kept feeling sleepy at 4pm and waking up at 5am!

Anyway, it was a week long of conferences, meetings and meeting people.

Sometimes meeting the US folks are quite funny. These US folks are so "katak bawah tempurung" one..

Like for me, working in an International environment, we hit a lot of "regulatory" issues when we work on applications and the deployment of applications. For example, I'm working on the global rollout of a financial application and the company I work for has 2 regional data centres - one in Mexico, one in Singapore. Now the Singapore data centre has a DR site in Beijing. And who would anticipate that there are countries in Europe that disallow financial data being hosted in Beijing.

These are the real "globalisation" issues due to regulatory concerns.

And you know, we had a case study round table discussion on regulatory concerns... and the US fella kow peh lan and complains that his biggest regulatory concern is SOX (Sarbannes Oxley) because "SOX makes my developers document so much that it takes their time away from coding"

WTF!

Now you see what I mean by these US folks are so "narrow minded"?

US Trip

I'm in the US right now. On the way, i was in transit in Vancouver and was caught in a snowstorm that delayed my flight for 3 hours! Take a look!

Son's birthday

Blogging this a bit late... my son had his birthday party at Mc Donald's last weekend.. his real birthday is not until 2 weeks time but he wanted to do his party early (just one week after school ended) so he could invite his class mates.

This is his birthday cake




Biasa lah.. he's still gila Transformers!

Sex Sells

Some of you (admit it, come on!) watch Amazing Race Asia. I must say that the 2 cute Philipino girls are probably the only reasons to watch. Apparently those 2 chics posed for FHM and Maxim before man! Check this out.. (scroll thru).

http://www.lawstude.blogspot.com

More bitching

It's time for more bitching...

.. you know.. I have been at this user organisation for 13 months already (amazing.. i left my consulting job after 13 years.. and here I am bitching after 13 months)

Anyway, one of the things that pisses me off which is actually a similarity between the both places that I've been, is the fact that in order to progress, one needs to lick butt and talk crap and you don't really need to have a lost of substance.

There have been occassions where I have, on projects, made certain observations of certain things not going right, then some flipping joker who totally got no content but has a pair of good ears, will somehow whisper to some "upper management dude" on the state of matters and there you go, that joker somehow is seen to be more "keng chow". Totally CCB man.

Last week, I couldn't make it to Mexico. Wah lan... there was quite a number of functional specs documents (abt 100) distributed out.. KNN.. I was like the only joker reading all of them... even the functional ones... So I go into the meeting (via phone) and I was like tearing apart the func specs when suddenly the functional fella (quite powder ful lady).. suddenly she says "actually the documents are still work in progress... I'm like.. kanina.. if the documents work in progress, why distribute? And why are you defensive of the vendor? If the documents like cock, say la the documents like cock. Then in the status call with some even bigger upper management fella, this lady says "the workshop was a great success, everything went smooth..". Lam pah man.. I tell you, the func specs that came back... can you imagine, the reversal func specs document only half a page. Nahia.. how to do design? We're talking abt reversal man! There's no step by step on what events can be reversed, what happens when each business event is reversed etc... all these ppl just wanna look good.

It's like in the previous job I was in. I remember way back in the early 90s... I was a young ciku doing technical architecture work.. then this ang moh consultant came in from Los Angeles (wah.. cheem). Nahia, this fella just tokok only, here I am, working day and nite writing shell scripts that can take a design document and generate a shell of the program.. (yeah.. I was doing that steam stuff last time)... and this consultant just tokok, fix the Project Director's printer, and then he declare that wah.. the project save so much money because we now do recycling etc etc... Hallo! What's the priority here?

Anyway, enuff of bitching la... never ending

End of Standard 1

Today is the last day of school for this year for my son. I must say that time has surely flown and when I look back at my son's struggles being an "ang moh" in a Chinese School, I am quite proud of his achievements.

When my son first went to school, he had almost zero knowledge of chinese. Well, he did go to kindy that had some chinese teachings, but nothing prepped my son for the amazing regimented teachings of a Chinese school.

- firstly, my son's school bag, wah lao eh... it was even heavier than a Kebangsaan school's Form 3 kid! I know because I compared! And the Chinese school fellas made it compulsory to bring the exercise books of all subjects every day! Jialat!
- tons of homework! My son arrives back from school between 7-730pm (afternoon school). After makan and a shower, he starts his homework the earliest also 830pm. Some times he goes on till about midnight! Yes.. it is that much!

- the standard! I've told you before in earlier posts abt how tough the exercises are. Like for spelling, I used to get "bola", "ball", "boy" in my Primary 1, my son gets full sentences mid way to his standard 1 (eg. "Look, there is a toy in the window" is kinda like the simplest sentence he got mid way.) And his maths... other schools get RM1 - RM0.20 = ?. He gets "RM1 - RM0.20 = X number of 20 cent coins?"

- crazed teachers! I never told you guys before.. he got this Bahasa Malaysia teacher who threatened my son with scissors before... because my son wasn't paying attention! She took the scissors, put it around his ears and said "since u were not listening, I might as well cut away your ears!"

I asked my son why he didn't run away.

He said his classmate who tried to run away, the teacher chased him and banged the boy against the blackboard like Batista doing a Power Bomb! Brutal!

Sigh.. he has indeed gone far. And I'm proud my son never complaints about his teachers. In fact, he still looks forward to school and the beatings.. which makes me love him even more.

I wish him all the best in Standard Two next year!

Home

I'm still at home today. Was supposed to leave on a flight to Mexico on Sunday but my wife fell ill on Saturday so I cancelled my trip. Again.

Yes, for those of you familiar with me, I also have been wondering "how come my wife always somehow falls ill just before I travel". I know it's an evil thing to think about and it's not something I should even contemplate thinking about.. but the "strike rate" is just too uncanny...

Some of you know that my wife's health is not the greatest and these things happen, but today, she told me that everytime it gets close to the time I need to take off, she gets to anxious that her body sometimes just caves in.

I'm now wondering if I am not meant to travel and if this means I got to start looking elsewhere...

Apologies

Sometimes, I do things that I'm not proud off. I have realised that I may, in the spur of the moment, say things or post things that reflect anger and I am not proud of it. Those of you who have read posts that think it is not the right thing, let me know. I will correct it. And apologies again for those who have read items that just don't seem right.

Pro Evo Istanbul

Guys, you just got to check this out... remember AC Milan vs Liverpool in Istanbul 2005? Check out this recreation!

Top 10 Comics

Some of you guys know that I have a soft spot for comics. Some have asked what my favourites are .. here is a list of my current all time favourites... (pictures only, the comments will come in later when I have time..)

1. Ultimates Volume 1

Some of you may know that Marvel came out with the "Ultimate" series with a re-imagining of quite a few hot titles. The Ultimates was the re-imagination of the formation of Marvel's premier super team The Avengers, which begins with the final World War II mission of Captain America and touches on the ups and downs of the founding members, Giant Man, The Wasp, Iron Man, The Hulk, and Thor, throwing in Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury. Ya man.. Samuel L. Jackson! The writing is extremely dramatic, especially when they revealed how Captain America was discovered and his past. Great stuff! And when they introduced Thor... my god.. (no pun intended). Words fail me!

2. Uncanny X-Men: Dark Phoenix Saga

This goes back to the 80s where the X-Men were Cyclops, Angel, Wolverine, Nightcrawler, Colossus etc... and this was the issue where Jean Grey transformed into Dark Phoenix which culminated in an epic battle with the X-Men taking her down. Then they all get kidnapped by the Shiar and this was the issue where Jean Grey sacrificed her life! Stupendous 80s stuff!

3. New Teen Titans Judas Contract

During the 80s, there was a big battle between Marvel and DC. Marvel had X-Men. DC had the Teen Titans. The Teen Titans had this magnificient storyline where their arch enemy planted a mole within the titans (wah.. like Infernal Affairs!) and this mole was killed in the saga...

4. House of M


This was a recent storyline which involves the Scarlet Witch losing her control of her reality altering powers, and thru that, she creates an alternate reality world where Magneto ruled the world and mutants are all in abundance.

5. Avengers Disassembled

This was the story before House of M, and it started with Scarlet Witch losing control of her powers and she starts off killing Vision (her husband) and Hawkeye (amongst others). Thru the series, we see Dr. Strange explaining the situation and thereafter how the devastation caused by the Scarlet Witch caused the Avengers to disband.

6. New Avengers #1

Ha.. this was the start of the Avengers AFTER they disassembled! This has Wolverine, Cap America, Spider man, Spider Woman, Luke Cage, Iron Man! Amazing!

7. Crisis on Infinite Worlds

Another 80s story line from Marv Wolfman where they create a situation where the multiple parallel DC worlds are being consumed by an evil being and thru that, how the heroes of the various worlds come together to defeat him. This series sees the death of Supergirl and Flash!

8. Sin City: That Yellow Bastard

Have you guys watched Sin City? This forms the story line of Sin City! Brilliant and violent!

9. Identity Crisis

A whodunit where it starts off with the homocide of the Elongated Man's wife and thru the 7 issues, how the heroes are thrown off course tracking down the killer and you'd be surprised who it turns out to be! AND, there was a startling revelation of something that the heroes did which totally rocks the hero universe!

10. Batman: Dark Knight Returns

This was Frank Miller at his best with the storyline of how Batman, in his 50s, returns to Gotham city to clean it up!

Ketam Berbulu!

No, it's not a horny post... I was recently in Hong Kong and the hairy crab season is on! These cute little buggers have hair on their legs.

Here's a picture... they're actually quite small, and u can see the plate itself already has a picture of the hairy crab (which is much larger than the real crab). See if u can spot which is which!

Lillian Too

in a fit of frustration, I took off steam reading my wife's favourite Lillan Too book. See what she says abt my "animal sign" for the past month!

"Many opportunities open up for you in your career this month. New avenues present themselves and you could be offered a fantastic new opportunity, which involves a higher salary, more perks and more travel. Although this means less time with the family and a more highly charged career, this could be a good thing at this juncture of your life..."

WOW!

Damn Frust

Today I felt at the lowest ebb of my move from consulting to an end user environment. Ever since I moved almost 1 year ago, I have never assimilated into a "user mode" of operation... Some of you ask, what is a "user mode"? Typical lah
- everything oso taichi
- in meetings just tokok like real, but don't do any work, just taichi
- the folks who talk most in meetings are the folks who do the least
- everyone just wants to look good

So why am I feeling so down?

Well, you know, recently I've been having some serious shit happening in Mexico. We're building a regional data centre there for Latin America and the first country going live in that DC is Brazil. So the Mexico DC is connected to the Mexico DR via a network link. And in the domestic environment, we have 2 groups responsible for global networks... 1 group for network, 1 for security. Now for many weeks, that link was not operational, and we cannot configure the DR site because the DR contains an Active Directory server that requires connectivity to the "master" in order to replicate over the users/ groups etc.

So we escalate la.. (user environment what.. you can only escalate, u cannot roll up your sleeves one..)

But niama, the Network PMO person (some Indian chick who damn blur f*ck) tells me that "the firewall box in Mexico DR is defect, that's why u don't have connectivity"

So here I am, on another conference call, and that's what I report.. then this other dude (Security fella) said "eh.. who said.. that firewall box is a backup box, the main box is ok, so YOU HAVE CONNECTIVITY". So there I think "kanina.. but your Proj Mgr tell me like that one mah... so how?"

Anyway, this security guy damn defensive, he insist connectivity is established and he hinted that my cranium is empty thats why I cannot configure. I'm like, tiew nei ahsing, as if I dono don't have connectivity. Nahia, I ping the freaking server all timeout one... Then on that same call, the Security fella said "firewall rules not implemented".

I'm like Kanina, first you say connectivity ok, then firewall rules not ok. They BOTH GO HAND IN HAND you dick head!

Ok.. then the story deepends, the security guy insist that very nite he will impement (this was all a few weeks ago). So they did. But their rules all salah implement one... why? because when we test, connectivity still not there. Nahia, the fella got the cheek to say "eh, If I say the task is closed, the task is close". Wah lan eh...

So there goes a few emails back and forth, then you know lah, the Security fella damn sensitive one.. So yesterday, I got on another call (now this time, finally, after much troubleshooting, the link was finally up and operational)... this security fella said "we're still troubleshooting". I'm like "err.. I just talked to my guys and for the past 12 hours we're ok". What also pissed me on that call was they had some Vice President of Infra on the call and she also said "hey, we know the status best and we're gonna have a call at 1pm to ascertain". I ask "can i be on that call?" "NO".

Tiew.

Now, I know this is a long ass story, but this pisses me off.

Firstly, all the project managers in this user organisation damn cock one. All damn high level. Refer to the Indian Chick above. Now, all they do is nothing but "report status". They all have no ability to "drill down".

For me? Unfortunately I operate still like my lung busting Steven Gerrard consultant mode. "You say the rules implemented? Show me! Let's ping, then do a trace route, then telnet and see if any packets dropped". It's only thru detailed drilling I find out that the security guys do cacat things like implement the firewall rules non bi directional, or they forget to open up a certain port. They they got the cheek to say "status closed".

Secondly, I get told that I'm too kan cheong in finding out status. My god.. my arse is on the line, baby.. if I don't find out, who's gonna save my arse? Worst, when I ask your high level Proj Manager and I get shit high level answers that are likely wrong, I lagi piss off. Then some of these guys also damn sensitive, they don't like you going direct and asking their staff for status.. I'm like, eh.. I ask your PM, if within 12 hours no response i'm just gonna bypass you man.

I'm very sad. I never expected such sub standard working styles in a user environment. Maybe it's me.. I feel like as if I'm Ronaldinho playing for Selangor.. I'm like passing all the balls but no once scores! Maybe it is time to evaluate my situation...

Streamyx bitch

Today's bitch is abt Streamyx. I was reading Effendi Hashim's article on Sunday (who I bumped in 1 U last week, but the f*cker damn lan sii one... KNNECCB!) where he complained abt Streamyx... and I have the same bitch..

At least my connection doesn't drop that often.. but what I cannot tahan is their tech support. Everytime streamyx is down, when I call them, this is the usual conversation:

Them: "Hallo, thank you for calling TM Net"

Me: "Hallo, My name is Mr. Pap. Kari Pap. My user name is karipap and I think Streamyx is down in Sungai Bamboo"

Them: "OK, can I ask you for your name and user id"

Me: "What the.. didn't I just say it when I picked up the fone? Anyway..."

Them: "Canot konek isit? Can I ask you to dis konek your modem, konek again and Try"

Me: "Done"

Them: "Can I ask you to dis konek your telephone wire, konek again and try?"

Me: "Done"

Them: "You ada bypass filter ah?"

Me: "Ada"

Them: "Can dis konek filter, put itu wire direk to modem?"

Me: "done"

Them: "Like that ah. I jot down your details and get technician call u bek, can?"

The thing that pisses me off is more often than not this is NOT a freaking wire problem or a modem problem or a bypass filter problem. CCB.. you think these things so easy koyak ah? YOUR PROBLEM LAH! Come on Streamyx!

Iron Man

I stumbled upon this website on one of my weak moments when taking in my daily comics fix...

http://stark.seabreezed.org/index.php?option=com_expose&Itemid=35

Enjoy the first 5 issues of Ultimate Iron Man!

Translation

Been working on some projects in Mexico, some of the "translated documents" come back with this:

Las consideraciones indispensables para la ejecución de este proceso son enviar los parámetros mínimos obligatorios que solicita el servicio para que el sistema de conciliaciones contables responda con la información correcta.
Este servicio se invoca en el momento que se detecta un error en las CURCS asignada. Si no existe error, no es necesario ejecutar dicha transacción.


I'm like WTF? The document is supposed to be in English! So I use google translator and i get this crap:

The indispensable considerations for the execution of this process are to send the minimal obligatory parameters that the service requests so that the system of countable conciliations answers with the correct information.
This service is invoked in the moment that detects to itself an error in the CURCS assigned. If error does not exist, it is not necessary to execute the above mentioned deal.

Cheemo!

Exams!

This week my Standard 1 son starts his exams! 4 papers this week plus art and the whole of next week! Jialat.

That's why my wife naik gila this week and banned me from travelling. Supposed to be in Korea and HK this week.. had to last minute cancel if not she'll kill me.

Can u imagine, my son's Bahasa Malaysia Standard 1 he already has to do cheem stuff like:
- Bina ayat (ie. give a picture, have to make sentences like "Bapa saya menunggang basikal dengan laju di waktu pagi") Cheem!
- Name the states given the state flag (ie. Pulau Pinang, Perak, Sarawak). Cheem!
- re arrange sentences ie given "Jalur Gemilang - bendera - Malaysia - Nama - ialah" he has to re arrange to say "Name bendera Malaysia ialah Jalur Gemilang")

Wow

Horno?

I was walking around in 1 Utama last nite when I spotted this grill!



Never have I had a good laugh since Chelsea signed Asier Del Horno!

On Strike

Last nite totally cheezed me off...

firstly, one of my mexico calls moved to 3am KL time. Tiewnehahsing! Totally insensitive, these arse wipes.

secondly, all this issue of chargeability surfaced. My blurdog leader got into a mess because he forgot to cater for some serious budgetting for resources.. how does he deal with it? Taichi la... this is the mentality of the place i work in mah...

So he goes and taichi and taichi and i'm like, wah lan, already my team has got 4 fellas, 1 guy fully focused on Asia projects, that one oso got no budget for him! Then myself, I used to do 30% on this project, 30% on this other prj etc etc.. (all these projects super important one) then I spend maybe the rest of my 30-40% on some freaking fire fighting missions in HK, AU, China... nahia.. no budget man. I'm like WTF man... then he had the cheek to move the some other guys from some other groups to MY OWN PROJECT BUCKET.. I'm like, who the f*ck is this Thai guy doing under my budget headcount?

It's like in my old firm, we used to get these FS90 reports ..ya, these good old days mainframe chargeability reports, before we replaced them with Stupid Application Program (SAP).. I remember, sometimes got some freaking analyst charging 2 hours on my project and I don't even remember approving this shit.

So I mogok lah. Today dowan to work.

Some smart ass dude pinged me and asked "don't work means stay at home izit?" DOH! I already stay at home...

HOT NEWS

wah, today i had coffee with yet another EX... and my god what did I learn.. so much that I don't even know how to mask the details in this blog, but here goes.

Recently, my old company had a few senior fellas leave the firm. Ya ya.. we were all sad, and we were all wondering.. KNN, this one guy, so keng chow, just penetrated the biggest money cow in the country, oso kena tendang? Then this other guy, such a nice guy, also kena arrow.

And when you ask them why, you get the standard answer of "ya, I'm making way so that people like you can get promoted".

My arse!

Today I found out what we already were speculating.. lemme say it's like clearing the weeds....

Anyway, when the weeds were cleared, let's just say the weeds that were cut were given a huge pile of compost to feed on. So these weeds got happy with the shit they got.

Anyway, sometimes, when you need to clear weeds, you cannot just take the scythe and start clearing. The laws in this country are quite employee friendly. You first need to write the bad weeds an eval, and you sometimes have to "hantam" a weed in the eval. What to do? You wanna chop, right? So, kena lah the eval. Even tho you are a superstar weed, your eval like shit.

Sometimes, these weeds fight back. So these weeds tend to stick onto your socks when you start clearing, and its damn irritating, they just won't let go of your socks.

So some of these vengeful weeds damn chee kek man. "you give me bad eval, I really stick it to you". How? Got tactic one.. you basically point out the farmers imperfections.. Like you can say.. eh.. this farmer, you sure can pakai one ah? The other day on this other project where all farmers get together to do "selection" for the right seeds to plant on a plot of land, there's this one other farmer who apparently claimed that "hey, even tho our role is to select seeds, but this special seed ah.. if we are selected ah, keng chow, I agree oready with this seed that I will be planter of choice". Wah Lan eh.. like that how can? Mana boleh play dual role. Konflick lah...

So anyway, this weed damn smart. Highlight this case. So all the farmers panic lah. Then the biggest of all big farmers came to see the weed.. This weed oso damn smart.. defler also "made inquiries" with the "national board of plantation". So all hell breaks loose lah and finally the weed gets left alone.

Cheem or not?

In the defence of this weed, this weed actually had another trump card.. but that is another story...

Argh

Some days working at where I am, I just feel like the picture below... ya.. like i wanna pop my claws wolverine style and just rip out someone's vocal cords


I tell you.. some things that irk me:

1. Sometimes,working with these US folks, really CCB.. they send like 20M attachments without zipping. Real KNN. THere was this one Finance woman from China... she sent this 19M document. Unzipped! So I wrote to her "eh, zip lah". Then she resent the same document zipped... i'm like how dungu-fied is that?

2. The place I work is a taichi society. Sometimes, we make a request, kanina, it comes back with more questions! I'm like, screw you lah, i give you detailed instructions just do it lah, nahia. The amount of times I get responded with a question..

3. Then recently, my boss starts saying something stupid (this is not the first time...). We all work in a shared service organisation, just like my old company, we have "project codes" or "charge codes". So we got this big ass bucket to charge time for "regional support" and now he says we cannot charge time to this regional support number. I'm like, then charge where? Seow ah? He wants to charge to the "list of approved projects" but i tell you, there's only a list of say 5-6 approved projects, because half our times are spent bailing out the different regions in the red (hence the "regional bucket").
KNN MAN!

4. And talking abt taichi-ing, i tell you.. in the place I work, the freaking US folks have this big IT department, and there's this one department focusing on "corporate systems" (like HR, GL etc) that kaninah man.. damn tulan one. They work together with the rest of IT and everytime some shit goes wrong, they blame others.

Like in Australia, so much problems. Then when we ask "everything's ok". Suddenly I get an email from a DBA asking for access to the environment to troubleshoot some locking problem! Nahia.

And in Brazil, celaka, their status updates says "infrastructure issue". I'm like, WTF? I investigate and I found that the application fella when he backup data to the DVD he didn't use the backup command so he backup salah. Nahia.. that one become Infra issue.

Real bastards man

Commentaries

Did u guys catch the great Liverpool Galatasaray Match? Stupendous. Then I found this in You Tube. Check out the arabic commentary! Crouch.. ya allah... crouch.. ya allah... peter crouch... ya allah...

Aquamen

I was over at Aussino's store in the Ikano Power Centre today and I spotted a couple of Ah Kuas there. Check it out!

Divine help

The last few weeks have been interesting. Firstly, there have been many "job offers"
- one fr my old company but from a Singapore partner
- one fr also my old company but from KL, to go back to a previous client
- one fr my current company, to focus on Asia
- also got some more lah, but cannot reveal... heh heh

So it's damn funny, I was at this "friend's house" and this "friend" invited this clairvoyant dude... so for the heck of it, I asked lah...

"eh, my old company asking me to go back. Good ah"

After some cheem sounding chanting, he said
"wah.. you cannot go back.. your old company, if you go back, there will be someone very jealous of you..."

So my wife batu api lah.. she asked.. "who ah"

so here I am, cracking my head, thinking who would be jealous..

the dude gave a hint "boss..."

so i'm like "this indian partner left, this other chinese partner with lawyer wife left, this other partner with sexy wife, kena hantar to China.. so there's really only 1 partner..."

then my wife asked "just newly promoted ah?"

and the dude said "ya... the Indian fella lah. The chinese one not so jealous"

I'm like.. WTF!

Kencing

When I saw this licence plate today I laughed man! Think in cantonese!

Conversations with a partner

Recently, a Singapore based partner started this email trail with me:

"So, would you ever come back to OldFirm when you get tired of being a mercenary"


So I said

"Before I left, I told my career counselor: I hate the need to sell just to make
partner. Why not create an ap landing for me, let me use my skills where they can be used best ie going from project to project to ensure successful delivery. Make me the lead Solution Architect or some shit. I thought that was a good win win. Unfortunately, he said cannot :(

So how to come back and chase numbers? If no number chasing, perhaps lor "

Then it started to heat up:

"Is money going to be a consideration or is it going to be for the love
of the work ?"

So I said "My friend, what do u have in mind, buddy?"

He replied:

"Nothing specific ….. just looking at options…..

Obviously, if you want to go project to project to ensure delivery……these projects must be quite significant/important/big in order to position you for ap level

So, the question of money is one ….The other question is of course travel …. I thought other half was against you traveling when you were in Old Firm but you seem to be traveling a lot with NewCo…. So have you two sorted this out
"

So I said

"Haha.. my wife still bitches abt the travel.. but there are some good sides to NewCo. I travel every 2 or 3 weeks.. so that's the bad part. But the rest of the time I spend at home. So my wife loves that. So I can do the housework, fetch my son to school, fetch him back, be on her beck and call.. so that's the benefits from working from home.. I can take most of my conference calls on the road so it's good... "

So he continued:

"Yeah ….there is always a trade-off somewhere.

For a delivery AP in OldFirm, because of the project-based nature, you will need to be onsite pretty much full-time. So, unless there are mega-projects in Msia to justify an ap level person, there is always a possibility of a request from other mega-projects in the region.

So, we have 3 issues

- the need to chase numbers (which I think can be solved)
- money
- travel

How ?"

SO I amused him more:

"
Cheem. Must discuss with my boss (my wife la!).

I believe my wife is now very settled in Malaysia. Our son is already Standard 1. So uprooting and following projects not so steam.

Unless the projects are say in Hong Kong or Singapore. These places, she's probably ok.

Money's probably an issue. I think in Malaysia a level 4 AP makes ... peanuts a month? Hmm... in NewFirm, I am happy. So that's an issue.

Travel - I think like above, best option is to be based in Malaysia. I'll be happy with a Solution Architect kinda role based in Malaysia but flying to projects once a while to help out. So, frequent but short travel is ok. Second option is likely longer mega projects but since my son is schooling, I think this limits where I can possibly go for such mega projects.

Numbers? U know lah...
"

His last response was...

"I can try to tackle the need to chase numbers – no guarantee but may have workarounds

On money, you may need to buy less gadgets and she has to settle for smaller diamonds. But not much can be done here, you have to consider the trade-offs

So, assuming you are a sucker for doing things for the love of it, the remaining issue is travel …… or put it another way, how to have you base in Msia while still providing sufficiently meaningful platforms for you contribute.

Hmm…..
"

Wah.. is this desperation? What's happening?

Huh?

Saw this sign pasted next to a parking meter.... isn't it obvious?

Cherie

Someone asked me... "Cherie Who?". Ayo.. I guess if u're as old as I am , then you will know who Cherie Chung is. She was one of those HK actresses during the 80s when Maggie Chung, Wong Jo Yin was hot...

http://www.brns.com/pages3/cheriepc2.html
http://www.brns.com/pages3/cheriepc3.html

Now, I tell you, talking abt Cherie Chung... reminds me of this story. I used to study in Uni of NSW and you know lah, all these uni kids at that time, all just wanna party only... (of course lah, just started uni mah, lepak mah, after 13 years of slogging in primary and secondary school.. )... and you know at that time there were so many "party societies" to join.. MSO (Malaysian Students Organisation), SSO (Singapore Students Organisation), HKSA (HK Students Association), ISA (Indonesian Students Association)... and all these student bodies.. the ultimate goal was to organise the most kick ass disco at that time.

So end of Week 2 there was ISA party, end of Week 3 was HKSA's Disco, Week 4 was MSO's disco etc etc... So one one of these discos I met this damn sui char bor from University of Macquarie... wah lan, she used to look EXACTLY like Cherie Chung man... so all the guys wanna khow her.. of course I tried lah.. but at that time, you know lah, I damn kaku one... so my pickup line was "wow, did you know you look like Cherrie Chung" and of course lah she said "yeah, everyone tells me that".

Nahia!

She's joined a law firm in Malaysia right now, lost touch with her... saw her appearing in the papers once... that's it..

Someone also was telling me.. how come nowadays you don't write any controversial shit anymore? WTF is all this Alan Tam lah, Cherie Chung la...

... well you shd ask that f*cker who bocor rahsia and released this blogsite to all the high powered folks! CB!

Alan Tam!

I was on the way back from Mexico yesterday, on the Cathay Pacific 9am flight from HK to HK, and lo behold, who did I see sitting next to me at the business class seats? Alan Tam!

Couldn't believe my eyes. Almost immediately, i wanted to "cheh hang cheng, cheh hang cheng, cheh hang cheng..."

Anyway, i fly so much on Cathay, this is not the first time I'm seeing Hong Kong superstars. I saw Eric Tsang the other time on the flight to Vancouver.

But basket, how come only batangs one? Why don't I get to bump into Cherrie Chung, Kelly Chen, Gigi Leung, Jolin Tsai (drooll)?

With my luck, I bet you i'll bump into Ng Man Tatt next.

Bad English

Last weekend, I was out at a bookshop looking for books for my son...you know, he is towards the end of his Standard One... and there's streaming for Standard 2, so it's abt time all parents started panicking... Wah, I saw this "English Standard One Workbook" with this picture:


Horrendous English! Straight away I rejected that book. Haha

WARNING 2

Guys, today I got 2 SMSes, 1 from a Partner, one from an Associate Partner from the firm I used to work. No... there was no arm twisting.... but this gives me the shivers... all you guys shd know that when you read the stuff I write, the unwritten rule is not to "publicise" this outside the "inner circle".

What happened?

Come on...

WARNING

Guys, I know a lot of you read my blog, but please don't freaking publicise it, ok?

Just 2 mins ago, I got an SMS from a partner asking "are you aware folks are reading your blog"?

I will have to stop updating this blog if you guys leak shit out.

MayFlower 3

wah, this MayFlower issue damn hot. Over the weekend, one of the partners of the firm I used to work with called me up with an indepth discussion on this person.

One of the things that he mentioned was the fact that this partner was upset that some of his good advise to MayFlower fell on deaf years and he said MayFlower insisted that she was ready (now, I'm not gonna get into a discussion on whether she is or not). And this partner said in the past, she used to be very receptive, and he was wondering whether she has been influcenced by her "boyfriend".

Yes, this is the subject of this blog.

This boyfriend of MayFlower, nahia, works on a project with my existing company. He sometimes is posted in this EU country so we normally ask him to follow up on items.

Kanina, sometimes when we ask him to follow up on certain things, the f*cker got the cheek to ask me to attend the status call to find out the status. I'm like, CCB man, that's the reason why I'm asking YOU!

CB!

Mayflower Extended...

I found this interesting comment on my post abt the Mayflower story.. so cheemology that I had to cut and paste it here...

-----------

Can't help not to comment...I can understand why Mayflower is so pissed. This news apparently is quite hot in circulation even to ex-colleques. I heard some of these people's integrity are at stake.

This is the version I heard la. Apparently Pole which is going to be promoted to SE (Senior Escort) only informed Mayflower she isn't getting promoted mid-August when he could have informed her after banding (early June). The story I heard was Pole told Mayflower he wanted to catch up earlier but was busy.

I also heard that French Monster never do any work wanr (not sure true bo)a lot of complaints...he claimed he was the project manager of this particular project which Mayflower help to do up the proposal and he was credited instead. I heard testimony that Mayflower actually deliver the project and French Monster did nothing much.Also I heard the clients complaint about him during a QA session - what was his role as he seems not to be doing anything even he is named Project Manager.

Also this I heard from another good friend ..French Monster also has a buddy called Bald Stick..this I have to validate it seems both of them never seem to work much and still get promoted to SM (Senior Masters)

Apparently Mayflower also helped to sell quite a few other proposals in her previous projects but somehow those were not even appreciated and weighted against what was said (allegations)- all these people focus on the backstab saga comments Some big shots apparently did appologised and admit there are some technical errors but still they cannot do anthing to change the situation. I heard some of these big shots have even tried to wriggled the story around it and it seems two different Senior Escorts stories were contradicting with each other. No one can tell the right story when Mayflower drilled them further.They even try to pursuade some contract Senior Masters on her current project to convince her to stay longer. Unfortunately it back-fire. These contract senior masters put it point blank that they have seen her performance and it's definitely above her level and even better than some managers currently in the project. So that's why they will support if she quits!

Quite an irony to it all when there are actually third party view in all these and those top shot people can't even make a change on things. Anyway today I heard that they are still trying to retain her - endless conversation but the fact is they are asking her to stay another year when she is already at that level and paid "ciku" salary while doing a manager's job. Such a rip-off. I wonder what will happen if this issue gets escalated to a higher authority - such a let down on leadership nowadays when you hear more of these stories and the integrity of this new breed of leaders. It seems in this company's next generation of leaders can only be either French Monster like - back stab all the way and move up - even the mgmt seems to bow to all these nowadays or the Bald Stick like - ignorance is the best game.

Chicken

Last nite, my mentor from my old company called me up from New York. He's one of the rare ang mohs who I totally respect (there's only 2 who I respect... the rest all tokok, sing song one... cannot execute...)

We had a great conversation, right until the end when he talked abt promotions and he said "all my ex mentees have now been promoted to Senior Executives, except you".

Yeah... that just hurts....

More people leaving

today I was in my old firm's office and I found out that many of my colleagues were leaving the firm. I felt sad that some of my close friends are leaving, mostly senior managers, to join a global bank's IT arm...

First, there is my good friend who went to Uni of NSW and studied together with me. I did Computer Engineering, he did a double degree in Elec Eng and Comp Science (he likes pain). He's now with the CRM group. Decided to tender a few weeks ago because he felt like he was treated like shit.

Then there's another good friend. Damn keng chow in Insurance functional knowledge. But like me, he is all solid content, no sweet mouth, cannot sell for god's sake. So, in the firm's model, sell or be shipped out. He finally decided that it was time to cut all losses. Man, this guy can calculate the cash value of a decreasing sum assured unit linked product that has undergone a partial reversal due to a bounced cheque. Keng!

Then finally, another dude. Haven't really worked with him, but he's solid. Last year tendered, was coaxed to retract, then had to go down to Singapore for a banking job, but I think he cannot tahan the politics there due to all the ang moh getting all the glory.

Sigh... so sad... the firm has truly changed once it IPO-ed... :(

KNN

Today I went to the Mexico embassy again. I'm like, WTF, KNNECCB, just my luck, when I arrived there, there was a mutha f*cking fire drill. I'm like.. what the..

I tried heading to the 22nd floor, the Indian receptionist said "tak boleh naik" (I sure can naik!). "Fire drill".

I'm like, kaninah man..

Then I spotted the embassy folks and I had to put on my sweetest smile...

"Hola! What time will this end?"

The freaking Mexican woman said 12pm!

KNN!

Luckily by 1040am, it was all over. Wah lao eh.. I was wondering whether the gods were not smiling on me.. everytime I go to the Mexico embassy, shit happens!

Disney part 2

Some of you have asked, eh.. real ar the wait times. Here's photographic evidence!


Anyway, there's a trick to HK Disneyland. Some rides have this concept of a "Fast Path". Kinda like the Amazing Race where u can zoom to the finish line quick.. this FastPath allows u to get some times booked for some rides/ events. So, the trick is once Disney opens, run in and get 2 or 3 Fast Paths (there's more, but they control.. u can only get max 2 or 3.. nahia).

Then you can lesuirely do other stuff (still more waiting) but at least u have a fastrack thru some events.

Today, I encountered one Chinese dude, nahia, cut queue at the water station and he had the cheek to make tea (KNNECCB, I shit you not) at the place that we filled up our water bottles! Wah lan eh...

But overall, it's a nice place. Recommended.. with a lot of patience and tolerance!

Disney HK review

Today, I took my son to Disney Hong Kong.

I've heard so much horror stories abt Disney HK.. the queues, the place is small...

Ok, personally, I didn't find the place that small. It's the same size (maybe even a teenie weenie bigger) as Movie World on the Gold Coast. But it's newer obviously than Movie World.

Did I like it? Well, I must say that the rides are ok, some of the attractions are quite nice. I particularly liked Tarzan's Tree House and the Festival of Lion King http://park.hongkongdisneyland.com/hkdl/en_US/parks/listing?name=AdventurelandAttractionListingPage

I also liked the 3D movie at "Mickey's PhilharMagic". http://park.hongkongdisneyland.com/hkdl/en_US/parks/listing?name=FantasylandAttractionListingPage Quite cool, the seats are all fitted with water squirters and during the movie, there are scenes of water thrown at you and it came from the water squirters. And during a magic carpet scene, you could feel the gush of wind as tho you were on the carpet.

But enuff of the good stuff. U just want to see me go ballistic at the bad, rite?

I tell you what's the problem. It's the close proximity to China! Wah lao eh.. you know all these fabled stories of how "ulu" these China folks are? Jialat man.. can you imagine, billions of Chinese fellas lining up for rides. I'm like, the freaking Dumbo ride has an average 90 minute wait! I'm like WTF! And that was the one my son insisted on riding. KNNECCB. 90 minutes man!

Then also these Chinese fellas, all dono how to line up one. You are there, lining up, and this bloody crew cut China fella with the smelly shirt will try to squeeeeeeezzeeeee past you. CB! I nearly head butt this one fella. Small kid also defler wanna over take. I'm like for god's sake, the line is 90mins long, you cut also u reduce 2 mins only. Nahia.

Everywhere, lines, lines, lines. Nahia.. even the water cooler also got to line up. Why? Cause there's this China guy right in front filling his water bottle for himself, his wife, his grandfather, his grand mutha, his grand uncle, his son, his daughter.. Wah lan eh...

Then the souvenir shop.. firstly, damn expensive.. then you got it, more Chinese fellas. Wah lan.

Seriously, man.. if I had the cash, I'd open a Disneyland in JB! Target the Singaporeans and the Indonesians. Indonesia's population also quite large, ya?

Rubber

My son, the champion, is somewhat following in my footsteps in school.

I used to be very talkative, always singled out, always the only fella standing on my desk during a school period...

Just last week, my son was telling me abt how he was asked to come out to the front of the class with his best buddy, because he was showing his friend his new eraser. So his teacher said ..
"you stand here next to the blackboard, then you must rub your rubber hard hard until smoke come out only you can go back and sit down"

Now, it must have been quite funny because how fast lah can a Standard One kid rub an eraser in his hand?

Then his teacher came around and inspect

"Aiya, not hot enuff, lemme show you"

Dono whether wanna laugh or not.. but the thought of this 150 cm kid at the front furiously rubbing his hands together to make his eraser warm is just too hilarious

Your Englund damn guud

Actual email sent from a tech head in the place that I work:

Alice,

Please install Cash desk in SG Prod. As for TD backup and restore, we have newer version. We currently testing it now. The newest version is:

\\mlsgwis12\SS521SP1\Sourcefile\td_backup_restore_Web\1.02

The install is very straightforward. I'll let you on Wednesday to install it or not. I will my documentation updated.

Thanks,

Bad counseling

Last nite, I spent some time counseling an ex colleague who got back stabbed by another colleague in my old company. You see, in my old firm, there's this "banding process" where the managers all "root for" a particular person. So this colleague, let's call her Mayflower, got pissed because one of the managers, let's call him "French Monster" suddenly chose not to support her...

So I sent a note to her "counselor":

-----------

Pole,

I think you need to have a heart to heart talk with Mayflower. She approached me last nite to state her disappointment that French Monster did not support her for a promotion. so she kept asking why, why, why... She also seems very uncomfortable talking to you, her counselor.

What's going on? Are you not providing a patient ear to her concerns? Pls give her your full support. She's a great consultant and I would have her on my team anytime.

Karipap

--------------

And I got back this cock assed response:

--------------

I have spoken to her but she does not want to listen to me…

I agree with u that she is a great consultant and will make a great manager. Have spoken to people who works with her now in SeeEyeEmmBee and they all think that she has what it takes to make it to the next level

I think she has what it takes to be successful in Arthur Consulting. She is disappointed that she is not making this round. Will talk to her again when I am back in KL next.

---------------

I'm like.. WTF? I ask you to talk to her, you say she dowan to listen. Then it's your freaking problem lah! That's why you are her counselor mah! Then say "will talk to her when I am back in KL". CCB! Why must wait? Don't care ar?

I'm so pissed with the attitude of some of the current managers left in my old firm. No "feelings" anymore. So pissed!

Results

I'm now in Korea. 2 days working out the kick off of a massive core system replacement, then on the way back, dropping bye Hong Kong for a steering committee meeting.

Today I called home and I was so surprised to hear that my son, the standard one kid, who "failed" his bahasa getting 41 marks the last time, this time got 85!

He told me.. eh daddy, Harith got 61 only. I'm like "wah... more keng chow than Malay, man...."

then he said "my friend Veenoth got 95!"

You can never win!

Changing Room

I've noticed something at the malls... have you noticed, that women tend to "share" changing rooms? I mean, what's up with that? 2, 3 girls sometimes can squeeze into a single changing room at the mall, i'm like.. WTF? And its not like these girls are all related to each other... why? why does this happen? What's the thrill?

I don't see guys sharing changing rooms....

Theory

After travelling so much, I noticed that at every f&cking airport, nahia man, whenever the bags come out of the KNN carousel, it normally ends up upside down?

Did u notice that?

I'm like, KNN man, you f*cking dickh*ead inside the baggage handling area, do u do it on purpose you "nucking futs" guy?

Leg

I am in Mexico and I went to this Mexican restaurant and the Mexican's all say that the pork all damn steam man. But honestly, when I went there, they pushed this cart with this pork leg strapped to this metal strap, my appetite went down the drain man..urgh....

Quote

I'm on the road again... back to Mexico... I'm writing this in transit to HK.

Movies suck on the plane.. but when I watched "I'm the Man" on the plane, there was this classic quote which made me laugh.. there was this group of guys trying to pick up this chick and she said "girls with an ass like this don't talk to guys with faces like yours!"

Classic!

Bully

My son has his first case of bullying today.

He has this Indian boy, Mavindran, sitting behind him in class and this Mavindran crawls under the table and usually tries to steal from my son's bag.

Today, Mavindran tool RM4 and a whole heap of coins from Mavindran.

My son, the short, skinny fella he is, went back to Mavindran and asked him

"Mavindran, you took my money!"

Mavindran said "I no steal"

"MAVINDRAN, YOU TOOK MY MONEY! GIVE ME BACK!"

"ok... ok..."

I must say I was quite proud of my son. Luckily he didn't do his karate kick to Mavindran (remember, on his first day of school, he whacked some boy in the eye because of heckling)

Deaf

When I got back from HK, my wife was panicking. She was telling me that my electrical supply fuse seemed to make this shrilling sound in the nite.

So...

Nite #1: Called the Tenaga fella. He shine torch lite, take his screw driver, tighten here and there, then said "eh.. tak tau la". Then the sound went away

Nite #2: Sound came back. Called Tenaga again. Different guy came. Blur. Shine torch lite, screw here and there, say dono

Nite #3: Sound came back. The guy came, no sound. Then he said "eh boss, macam ini, susah la... tak apa, tak bahaya punya. Bahaya kalau lampu kelip kelip"

Nite #4: sound again. nahia. i took my torch. shine here and there. Then i realised, heck, the sound maybe coming from the garden eh.. then I listened hard.. I realised my neighbour's house oso got the sound... So I slowly walk to his house, shine towards a clump of bushes... Nahia! Freaking Cricket man!

Wah lao eh... damn embarassing man!

Zidane

After yesterday's world cup final, I can only say one thing stood out... Zidane really used his head:

http://www.footymax.com/zidane.htm

Dragon Breath

I'm back after a week in Hong Kong. I was supposed to attend an IBM Insurance Application Architecture Conference, but half the time I had to go tackle that problematic Hong Kong Core System Migration I'm overseeing....

My HK project Manager, like me, is also quite religious. In the lift, he showed me a picture of the large Buddha that can be found in Lantau Island. At the back of that picture, there were some blessings..

I asked him "eh, these words, what's the meaning ar?"
he said "wah, these words are eternal blessings, protection and white light against all sorts of evil ..."
Then I said "wah lao, then how come you still kena saboe so much on this project?"

I'm now back home for a week. I'm supposed to head towards Korea the week after, then Mexico the week after after (if there's such a word). I haven't asked my wife yet. Damn scared man. Some more, tonite there's world cup final.

If she's in a good mood, maybe I get to go both places.

If she's in a bad mood, nahia, the World Cup Final also she will ban me from watching man...

Lewd

If you've been watching the live World Cup games on Astro, you must have seen this ad.



I dono man, looks damn suggestive to me...

Unmasked!

One of the most remarkable plots unfolded in comic Kingdom when in Issue #2 of Marvel's Civil War, Spider Man reveals his secret identity to the world!

It started in the pages of "Civil War". In the aftermath of a tragedy in Connecticut, in which a band of reality TV heroes were unable to prevent the villain Nitro from killing an entire elementary school full of children and parts of the surrounding community, the U.S. government propelled forward the Superhuman Registration Act requiring the superhero community to register themselves as living weapons of mass destruction, and reveal their identities.

The act was supported by Tony Stark,who became the leader of the Pro-Registration side. The superheroic community was split between registering or retaining a secret identity and becoming an outlaw. Leading the opposition to the act was Captain America, in defense of heroes' right to privacy.

To support Iron Man, and perhaps obtain the elusive respect of the public by compliance with the Act, Spider-Man made the difficult decision (with support from May and Mary Jane) to reveal his identity to the world during a press conference!



I'm like, wah lan eh... this is comic history man. Imagine the consequences. The green goblin, vulture, sandman all knowing who to target now!

Another one bites the dust

I was chatting with another financial services partner in my old firm and I found out that HE has tendered and his last day is Aug 31! Merdeka!

Conned!

When I got back from Mexico, I was nicely surprised when my wife told me about the improvements my son made in school. 6 months ago, he was struggling with "ting sieh" or the Chinese equivalent of spelling. He's a "banana boy" and when my wife and I made the decision to put him in a Chinese school, it was quite a struggle for him. But he's now enjoying Chinese and even enjoys torturing himself with the stackloads of homework.

So when I got back and he told me he got a free ticket for this Lantern Show in Bukit Jalil, I thought, what the heck, bring him lah.. let him enjoy.

Nahia man... that was one big con job.

Firstly, whilst my son's entry was free, adults had to pay Five bucks each. Now, the flipping ticket had pictures of ferris wheels, great looking facades etc. When we got there, basket, that place looked like a pasar malam man. At the entrance, to the left, there was a guy frying char kueh teow for RM5. To my right, there was a malay stall selling nasi lemak.

Then when you walk in, you get
- one stall with a woman offering to "get rid of tahi lalat on your body"
- one stall selling mobile phone accessories
- one stall selling cheap China toys (the rubber yoyo thing with the spiky ball like look and 2 stick on eyeballs)
- a row of donald ducks, mickey mouse, goofy rides (the one that a five year old can sit on and the ride goes up and down, up and down, with the tune of macarena blasting)

I'm like.. WTF man... where's the "lanterns"?

Ada..... there was one big dragon made up of plates and saucers. There was a huge eagle representing the Langkawi Eagle made of CDs. There was this "thousand hand buddha". There was one or two more displays also lah.

Worth the RM5? No way! Like I said, it was like paying to visit a pasar malam man. Basket!

Argentina 2 - Mexico 1

I'm back in KL after 2 weeks of travelling. Just watched that wonder goal from Maxi Rodriguez beating Mexico in Round 2 of the world cup. I can tell u, it's a good feeling man.

Why? Wah lao eh, I tell u these IBM Mexico fellas. Damn frust man.

Like that SQL Server clustering fiasco... nahia man... the whole of last week, my guys kena taruh by the Corporate Systems folks because of IBM's incompetence.

I'm now not trusting them in anything I ask them to do. Everything also I ask them for a freaking screen shot.

Then just the last day before I left New York, I found out that these dumb ass jokers did not set up the hardware load balancing. Nahia man. Of course I kena taruh like shit.

So no load balancers, no choice, Brazil going live in the data centre, we had to do some repointing of the DNS entries to one of the servers in the server farm instead of the virtual IP. That also they dono how to do.

Ask them to set up SFTP (secure FTP), I ask for the screen shot to show evidence, the joker send a screen shot of the normal Microsoft FTP client. I'm like, wah liao eh... they shd know secure FTP and FTP different mah (101: different ports).

Really beh tahan.

So u can understand why I was rooting for Argentina.

Tonite? Holland!

Brazil

Wah lan.. here in New York on a weekend, sitting down watching Brazil play Australia whilst there's troubleshooting going on in Mexico on the freaking firewall...

And I'm watching this match on tv where there's live cross over to Brazil. Man, check out the women on tv!

Mexico

I am now in Mexico City. Freak man. Flew all the way here to QA a data centre infra build and these Mexican jokers are... talk to them, they say "SQL Server Cluster ok!".

Then we start inspecting the server and we find that there is not menu item for SQL Enterprise Manager. Nahia! Not installed man.

Really vomit blood man.

Degrading

Have any of you taken the LRT to KLCC? You know that tunnel connecting the LRT to KLCC? Why are there so many fellows there trying to sell you some shit, take surveys or ask you to donate to some bizarre organisation?

It's so degrading.

Imagine, our KLCC is the pride of Malaysia. But the tunnel leading from a public transportation to KLCC leaves such a bad taste to any passenger.

I'm truly disgusted.

Voodoo

Next week, I have to go to Mexico.

And that f*cking Mexican bitch at the Mexican embassy is such a pain in the butt.

I went there once. First she bitched that my letter was not addressed to the embassy. Chow Chee Bai! I had to then frantically contact my Mexican friends (who all switched off their cells, cause they were partying).

1 day wasted.

Then I went on the 2nd day. She f*cking complained that my letter needs to come from Malaysia! F*cking bitch! Where I work, there's no legal entity in Malaysia so I got a letter from the USA stating that "Karipap works for XXX and is based in Malaysia"

That also cannot. I cursed and put voodoo on her 50 generations, that Mexican bitch.

I am now sitting in the contracting company whilst we conjure out a letter.

I hope my 3rd trip to the f*cking embassy is successful.

Curse you, you bitch!

Fail

This is the 2nd week of the school holidays.

Just before the holidays, my son, the standards 1 kid, went thru his first round of school exams. No joke.

I was quite dejected when he came back and he showed me that his Bahasa Malaysia, he could only get 41%. There and then, I was thinking...
- i've been a bad father
- i shd have spent more time with him
- that's it, out goes the PS2
- I shd quit my job and dedicate myself to his studies
etc...

Never have I felt so dejected and so lost at fatherhood.

Then my wife found out that Johnny down the road got 47%, Tommy from row 3 got 44% and the passing mark was 40%!

HAHAHAHA.. what a relief!

And that little joker, his Chinese subjects all 70+ or 80+ % His English exam so so... damn bizarre... must be Chinese school syndrome!

Theory

I've developed a theory after doing so many con calls.

If someone has a sweet voice over the phone, it is likely that lady is an overweight Oprah during her peak days.

If someone has a gruff voice, she probably looks like Cindy Crawford.

True! I've seen it.

When i was in high school, all the girls with hard to pronounce chinese names all damn solid one.

All with english names like dog

All the Michelle, Stephanie etc all like dog

All the Tze Thean, Su Shean etc all damn chun

Kuat

I'm quite impressed with the WiFi coverage in the Cathay Pacific Lounge in the HK airport. Here I am, in the huge shower room, taking a crap, and when I whip up my laptop, there's a wifi signal. Cool!

Gigi

My son called me whilst I was in the states. Yesterday was his official Standard One exam in Bahasa Malaysia and Pendidikan Moral.

Dono man... I'm not expecting much.

He also called to tell me that his first ever milk tooth dropped out. Wah.. what a milestone for him!

Repeat

I just got off the plane, transiting in Vancouver when I got news on my Blackberry that one of my close Malaysian colleagues suffered the same fate as my baby.

I cried, oh how I cried.

And my wife used to accuse me of not being sensitive to her needs when we suffered our losses. I had to be strong for her, but when I heard my own guy suffering my same fate, I could not hold it in.

Sometimes I wonder if good guys come out on top... it's times like this when I am left questioning faith.

Bodek

I'm blogging this whilst in transit in HK.

On the way to New York. I have a 2 day "offsite meeting" hosted by my bosses' boss. Then on Wed, he is also hosting lunch.

Wah lan, like that oso I fly all the way there ar?

Ya lor. Nahia, this company, got to bodek the big guns. When they invite u for such boondoggle events, u better show face and show respect man. I bet u the sessions will be boring, but the important thing is just to show face and create contacts.

That's the difference in a user organisation. Totally not dependent on pure skills, but on who you know and whether u can get folks to do you a favour. So here I am, blowing RM15,672 for a round trip biz class ticket for this.

Niama man.

Pool

Last year was incredible.



However last nite, history repeated itself!

Maybank

I am sitting here at the Maybank Sungai Buloh branch to open a Maybank account.

KNNECCB and TNM man, flipping crap, sitting here for 40 mins already, kaninahia, only 1 officer opening account. And like WTF man, the way she opens account.. she takes the freaking form, keys the info and then creates the account, then next customer.

I'm like, hey, 5 fellas waiting to open account, have a few tellers or customer service reps on stand by lah! Niama man!

And how am I blogging this? I hijacked the maybank2u PC.

Tulan man!

Frust

One thing that frustrates me is when you work with flipping ang mohs, wan lan eh, these jokers can really talk and putar belit man.

Nahia man, on conference calls, they can temberang like there's no flipping tomorrow, promise their mother's asses and everything, but when it comes to the crunch, elek.

Just yesterday, niama, I was on this conference call. Kanina, this f*cker, 3 weeks ago, like real, promise to do this and that, then I had to also do something.

So we get onto this call, chow hai man, I presented my stuff, then ask him "now can u table your option", celaka, the f*cker said "I need xxx to provide guidance on what details she wants". I'm like, WTF man! 3 weeks of sitting around with your dick in your hands now only you say you want guidandance, you piece of shit!

Really beh tehen man.

Sauna

Been a while since I updated this blog. Been extremely busy man. For the past 10 days, I have spent time in Korea and Hong Kong.

Korea was fun. I tell you, I had Korean BBQ Pork 3 days in a row man. The pork there is great.. all sorts of pork, makes the pork in Malaysia taste so stale!

Also had some time on a Sunday chilling out. I tell you, the amout of hard work some of us put in, sometimes we are so "kaku" when it comes to entertainment. So on the Sunday, when someone suggested using the Park Hyatt sauna, we were all blur in terms of how to enjoy ourselves.

There were 4 of us overweight and overworked Malaysians in the sauna room. We were all wondering..
"must strip ar?"
"can wear underwear ar?"
"yours bigger ar?"

Well, 3 of us ended up with trunks and 1 guy (the latest fella who joined the company) decided to strut around in the buff.

Then there was the ultimate "get out from the hot pool and dip into the ice cold water" treatment. We were told that it was good for health. So, we tried it. Damn cold man. Again, we were thinking...

"must strip ar?"
"can wear underwear ar?"
"yours bigger ar?"

... more lucid stuff later!

Dreams

My son is a funny fella. He's got so many transformers at home that last nite, while sleeping, he suddenly mumbled "Starscream and your bulu"!

Why bulu?

Sometimes around the house I go around shirtless and he always calls me "my big fat daddy with the armpit bulu"

!

How I'll miss him when I'm in Korea

Traitor

Yesterday, I had a curious phone call from an existing partner in my old firm. He kept asking me "eh, your yahoo status says 2 FS partners leaving, who? who?"

We all know who was that ONE who left.. but the second? I just hantam only to create provocation. But who knows, this partner who calls me up... it is because HE was actually also planning a defection! HAHAHAHAHA! No shit man. It's amazing how a "just whack" yahoo status message can force someone out of the shell!

So what's the deal? Cannot reveal too much. Too many folks reading this blog.

Metaphorically it's like this...

In the European leagues there's this G14 group of elite soccer clubs. But recently, these clubs have all become to snobbish, difficulties in conquering the Champions League (go Villareal!) etc. So from within, some clubs are thinking of defecting out and creating their own super league.

This same scenario happened in the Rugby Leagues where many years ago, some of the clubs defected out to form their own league.

ENUFF SAID! You guys are smart! You've probably deciphered this already!

Defection!

I just heard news that yet another person within "my old company" is being intervewed by my "current company". Ya man.. another defection! We'll see!

Lost

I brought my wife to the Damansara Specialist Hospital for her regular checkup. I saw this signage:

Morisette

I was gonna say "Ironic" again, but you know me, I try to not repeat Titles ...

.. anyway, yesterday, I was reflecting something quite ironic and quite coincidental.

I was chatting with an ex FS partner who just left my old firm at the end of March, and he was lamenting how tough it has been and how with so many partners, he's making way for the new generation etc.. I told him I'm amazed that after being shitted on by the firm (cause I truly believe he was cornered to leave) that he can actually spew such "firm upholding" sentences.

"I'm making way for the future generation"
"We all have to continue to pursue other greatness"

My arse man. When you get shafted like that, dying for the firm and now being slowly pushed out because of not making the numbers? F*k you, man!

So maybe I did make the right decision...

And what's funnier, I also chatted with another ex Senior Manager who left for Australia and now just came back. He too is "lepaking" without a job.

And there's yet another ex Senior Manager, "lepaking", left because of certain circumstances...

All of us are ex "Big ass custom built banking project" guys... died so many times on that large job.. the ex partner being the main lead, me, the application architect, ex manager from Australia looked after conversion, other ex manager looked after technical architecture for the front end... damn.. it's a curse!

Ironic

I made a trip down to Jalan Tuanku Abdul Rahman, Maju Junction to be exact. Went over to the Jabatan Pendaftaran Negara... and was greeted by a "from 1st of January, we will take a lunch break between 1pm - 2pm" sign. KNNECCB!

Anyway, here's the ironic thing. I was told by the hospital that even tho I had the misfortune, I still needed to register my daughter's birth and death. That's why I made the trip to JPN. This was a sad trip, imagine, all the other parents I saw there made trips there to register births. I'm striking out twice there. Damn sad, man...

Vigil

Firstly, thanks for all the well wishes. I've never gotten that many fruit baskets before.

I've taken some time to reflect on the happenings over the past few days. Based on discussions with the doctor, he was telling us when the moment my wife stepped into the hospital, every one was too worried to take her case because at that point in time, her blood pressure was just too high. There were also chances of both going away instead of just one.

I guess I must thank god, for I truly believe that god must have sacrificed my daughter to save my wife. Maybe now she will reduce the amount of nagging to me to compensate for her "new life" :))

I'm still not out of the hospital. Thank god for wireless broadband, my wife will still be under observation for another week. The doctors want to ensure that all complications are taken care off.

Me? Of course I'm sad. But I've still got the odd conference calls and responding to emails to keep me busy. I get like 300 - 400 emails a day, and sometimes, not checking for an hour generates 30-50 emails. Not checking for 6 hours generates 100+ emails! Just too taxing!

Sadness

It mains me to account this, but the last few days have been the saddest for a while.

It started with a routine check up on Saturday at my wife's Gynae. There, the doctor suddenly said he could not detect any heart beat from my daughter in my wife's womb. That started a whole panicky chain of events.

We were so devastated, we quickly rushed over to Damansara Specialist for a 2nd opinion. There, the doctor also confirmed the lack of a heart beat.

It hit us like a big sledge hammer. Why Why Why? Only a few days ago we could feel the baby kicking and turning.

We went home, still sad (because the doctor said after hearing such news, we did have a few days before deciding to take the baby out).

Then we decided to rush off to a Goddess of Mercy temple in Puchong. We frequent this temple and the lady there could go into a trance to "give advise". There, she advised us that actually, the baby's heartbeat was very faint and therefore undetectable via ultra sound. We were also advised that if we took the baby out soon, there was a slim chance.

So back we started driving. Now my first gynae was in Ampang, the 2nd opinion doctor was in Damansara, helluva closer to my home. So we started a whole bunch of frantic phone calls to see if we could switch doctors and you know, the question of ethics between doctors came up.

But to cut a long story short, we managed to switch doctors, and abt 7pm we checked into Damansara Specialist Hospital. Our intended doctor unfortunately had some appointment in Rawang, he couldn't come over to take the baby out. And worst still, all that panic and rushing around set my wife's blood pressure shooting above 160. So the doctors said the first priority was to calm her down.

There she went into ICU, to bring her pressure down. And after a night, the next morning, we wheeled her into the Operation Theatre. I was praying like there was no tomorrow but at 930am, the doctor pulled out a lifeless baby girl from my wife's womb.

Honestly, I didn't feel that sad then.I felt so angry at how things turned out. Angry, puzzled.

It was only the very few hours later, around 2pm, when the painkillers all wore off on my wife, when we wheeled my daughter, 35 weeks old, into her mom's arms that I cried so much.

God bless my daughter. My wife and I had picked the name Jocelynn for her, meaning Joy, but it was never meant to be.

Two

ok.. someone said I shd stop spreading rumours over yahoo.. but here's what I heard... There's one FS partner who already tendered.. he said "because I'm making room up there for others"... I'm like, my arse.. as if anyone is so noble...

My theory? With so many partners up at the top, there's bound to be pressure in such a small market. So probably some partners got pressured to "go to a new country" and possibly some of these partners rebelled.

Just a theory.

Anyway, I also heard there's a number two! And I'm not talking abt my kid...

News!

You heard it here first! A Malaysian FSI partner has resigned! And he's keeping it hush! He's probably not who you're thinking off!

Who? Who?

cannot tell lah!

Undo

The past week, I've been inundiated with calls and emails from at least 2 partners from the firm I used to work for. They have been trying to convince me to come back, with the promise that the firm has now recognised its shortcomings and are making alterations to the consulting model in order to fit good folks (i'd like to think so) like me back into their world.

The way out? A new "Specialist capability" which allows you to take a more deeper Subject Matter Expertise Role, that also allows you not to follow the typical consulting career path of having to sell to save your soul.

It's interesting... But I'm quite immune with some of the promises the firm has made in the past. Also, the new "specialist capability" allows you to land at max a Senior Manager, which I disagree.

So we'll see. I guess I'm nicely piqued after getting pissed off with so many of my colleagues that I work with now, on their incompetence and on the amount of bullshit and red tape flying around...

Redtape

This is another frustrating thing that I'm facing. Because I work in an organisation that is large and convoluted, sometimes I need to follow long winded processes that are just analystic.

For example, getting Microsoft support for Production issues.. I have to send an email to this one US fucker, ask him for permission to raise a ticket to Microsoft etc.

And he had the cheek to respond like this:


Please list each of the production issues. We reserve incidents for critical production down issues as we have a limited number of incidents. We would much rather first try to resolve internally, helps us all learn.

I cannot provide open ended access to Microsoft, I have to manage incident use. If this is a database issue, xxx will manage it. Our Premier Services contract is to support CoXXX, not to support a vendor. Even if what that vendor impacts CoXXX. They should open their own incident since they are supporting us, I'm not supporting them. The India example is the sort of thing we don't want.

I'm like, fuck, hello.. I'm having a production problem here that needs fixing.. u want me to try it out on my own first to learn? Dick head!

Bitch!

Some of you may have seen my yahoo messenger status saying "yes, I admit, I am with a client. And most of the folks I work with are idiots!"... It is utterly true!

Writing about all this will take eons. I'll probably take it slow over the next few posts to explain why I feel that way.

Firstly, the folks who I work with are all ego-seeking incompetent folks. They somehow see us young blood who actually "do work" as threatening their position. Like this one woman who I work with who handles Operations and Infrastructure. She was so insecure with a lot of the work that I was doing because I was "go go go" whereas she was "let's take it slow" that she wrote this nasty email to me:

"
Please cut down your number of emails on HK. I understand that you are trying to push the project along, but you need to realize that no one has come to us in the beginning if the May time frame is ok for us to commit. You know this date now is quite impossible to meet, based on the network and Mssp lead time requirement. We are trying to work out when we can commit to a more realistic date by working it out with xxx. It seemed to become my monkey now, so just let me and xxx work on this with the facility people. By sending numerous emails at thi frequency will not help a DAM thing"

I'm like, what the.. it's YOUR fault that things are delayed, and now she's tai-chi-ing things away?

BITCH

Normality

My life's back to normal. My son's kicking and running around. He went to school today, a typical naughty boy. Because he's been away for 2 weeks, he actually told me when i fetched him back from school that "daddy, I looked for you during recess, when I did not see you, I cried". I cried when I heard that.

When I pick him up from school, this is the typical scenario outside the school gate!

Believe!

The last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Last week, flew back from New York on Wednesday. Found out that my son fell ill while in school on Monday Feb 13. And bizarrely, for the past 2 weeks, he has not been well.

It was strange. Monday last week fell sick, Tuesday still feverish, Wed started to get better, then Wed nite started getting feverish again. Thursday still down with fever, Friday started to get better, Sat attended an open house, then that nite fell ill again!

Then this week, I noticed something strange... he started developing a cough that was bad during the day, no fever during the day, but at nite, he would complain of being tired. Then when he sleeps, his temperature would rise around midnite! This went on Sat/ Sun/ Mon/ Tues this week! Wed I gave him some "leong char" and his temperature came around 2am instead. Then on Thursday, my mother in law suggested, maybe he "kena kotor" or "hit some dirty things" (to translate it crudely).

So I went over to the prayer shop, talked to the woman there, and she asked me what date he fell ill. When I said Feb 13, she pulled up the "Tong Su" (the chinese almanac) and she asked "your son, in the middle of the nite, does he suddenly have a fever, and his stomach is burning hot?" My mouth dropped down to the ground man! That was the exact thing.

So I took a whole bunch of items... candles, jossticks, tea, rice, fruit, some chinese paper, had to pray in a certain direction, and that nite, my son slept slightly better, his temperature only came at 6am. Then last nite, smooth!

Now, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that tonite will be a "clear nite". But I don't know man.. a man of science like me... believes!

Symposium!

Wanted to use this blog as a plug for tomorrow's ISAC-M event at Crowne Plaza!

http://www.isac-m.org/events/symposium/rock.htm

Museum

Yesterday was a horrible blizzard in NY. Almost 24 inches of snow fell and because of that, I decided to go and lepak at the American National Museum of History www.anmh.org

Great place. Loved the dinosaur exhibits!

Big Apple

Firstly, apologies again for not updating this promptly. It is Sunday nite. I'm watching a beautiful lady in black leather outfits ala Tomb Raider blasting Werewolves on TV. At least some spare time to update this.

I'm back in New York for some workshops and to kick start another phase of one of my projects. Sigh, it's so tiring. My wife is due sometime end April/ early May.. and she is banning me from travelling after this trip! Ya.. i need to stay home.. but it's tough when you have a global role. There are just so many activities coming up such that a conference call will not be able to do it. Hopefully, in March, I can do a short trip to kick start an architecture review in Hong Kong.

This trip to New York, damn sueh.. the weather was beautiful until I arrived in NY! The last few days before I arrived, max temp was 10 degrees C. Today? Snowstorm! Niama!

So I'm stuck indoors watching TV. Underworld is over. South Park is on. Hilarious. Can you imagine lines like
"Cartman, I need a semen sample"
"How do I give you a semen sample"
"I dono"
"The teacher says you pull on your wiener till white stuff comes out"

Totally not for children!