Sorry

It's been a while since I blogged.. and I have been getting many emails reprimanding me on why the sudden slowdown.. aiyo... normal la... busy.. but then again, that's not a good excuse...

Another reason why I have been holding back writing is because I guess the circle of folks reading this blog has indeed increased beyond my expectations. When I started writing this, I was quite a fed up consultant in a large consulting organisation (let's call it A).. so most of the folks reading my blog were folks from A.

Then when I moved, I went and joined organisation X. (haha.. you guys thought I would say "M", ya? Am I that predictable?). So then my circle of readers were both A and X.

Sometimes, when blogging, I may have said things that may have pissed off A, sometimes, X.. but more often than not, I have been careful of pissing off X, because they indeed pay my salary :)

And if you remember, there was a partner from A that invited me for talks to explore whether it made sense coming back to A. Honestly, I have restrained blogging that episode.. because I didn't want to send warning signals out to X.

But what the heck.. this is where I am. I think the thought of coming back has always been interesting. And I'll be quite honest, I do miss the work in A. Yeah yeah.. I bitched a lot abt the work, abt how clients treated us like crap.. but honestly, the work is interesting.

Where I am in X, yeah.. the work is interesting, but somehow, in my position doing a lot of virtual work, I find that at times, I need the face to face contact with clients, the thrill and excitement of pitting brains in a one on one discussion, the tense situation pitching something you know may not work in front of a client... haha... yeah.. I'm a sucker for pain..

So this thought has been lingering around for a while. And I think the partners in A sense this.. so they have been reaching out to me. Yeah.. I have had discussions.. serious discussions? So far, I think, things can only be described as "exploratory". I don't see it happening, honestly.

On one hand, I always thought the salary would be a stumbling block.. yeah.. I do enjoy a nice package in X, but I guess, I'm at a stage where a good career is probably something that needs more attention.

So, away with the salary.. what's the current issue? I think for me to come back, it needs to be a win win. When I left A, I felt that the firm marginalised kick ass executors like me. I still remember, project after project, bailing the firm out.. but when it comes to promotions, it's the guys who wine and dine the clients that get promoted.

And it's the same in X. Same thing.. so many projects have I executed, in fact, more in parallel compared with A, but it's the guys who just talk and talk that get all the glory. It's frustrating. I'm sometimes the brains behind a lot of ideas, but I have been in situations where my ideas get packaged into a nice ppt but somehow I don't ever get the recognition..

Anyway.. so back to the saga of "coming back to A". Like I said, it needs to be win win. Apparently the firm has now changed. I was told that they now value people like me who "execute". That's where the impasse is now... for me, the win win is for me to come back, I think it makes sense for me to come back at a certain level. I was a bit disappointed when I was told that even the firm A values executors, but to come back at a certain level, I would need to have demonstrated the art of selling. So what? Come back at the previous level where I left. Take a bet on selling a big project.. so this is where things are.. the art of selling.. does it make sense? And even if I did demonstrate it, all I want to do is to come back at a certain level, and just kick ass in projects. I don't really want to do any selling. I'm the best there is at what I do. And what I do isn't very nice (yeah.. I stole that line from a Wolverine comic - so sue me). This is why it looks unlikely of happening.

Does this all make sense? If it doesn't, it must be because of many weeks of not blogging. And I promise this won't happen too often any more :)